PEOPLE CONNECTIONS, PART 5: BLESSING

Luke 6:27-38, Selected Texts (NASB)
David Bruce Linn, Pastor-Teacher
15 May, 2005
All Rights Reserved

Author Jane Austen tells the story of how an unlikely marriage comes to pass in her book Pride and Prejudice. Elisabeth Bennet and Mr. D'Arcy circle each other from afar for a long time. She is insulted by his aristocratic pride and judges his character to be poor, though it is actually good. He loves her but cannot get close to her because of his pride. He asks for her hand in marriage while insulting her birth, and she, in turn tears him apart verbally, judging him even for things he has not committed.

By the end of the story, they each repent of their poor behavior and joyfully agree to marry. Then comes a scene where Miss Bennett must ask her father for his blessing for their marriage. Up until this point he has heard nothing but Elisabeth's complaints about this man. He knows nothing of his true underlying good character because she has so thoroughly denounced him. Elisabeth sits quietly with her father and sheepishly broaches the subject. Mr. Bennett is astounded at first and cannot even understand what is happening. Eventually he realizes his lovely daughter has had a great change of heart. Finally he asks: "Is this what you want? Will this make you happy?"

Elisabeth quickly replies that nothing would make her happier. In the film version you can see Mr. Bennett's mind and heart coming around to this new reality. His whole face changes, he kisses her tenderly on the head, and gives her his warm blessing. Elisabeth Bennett's world is changed forever.

Very few people today understand the immense significance of a father's blessing for marriage. It impacts the new couple spiritually, emotionally, socially, and probably financially as well. I was virtually clueless as I went through this process as a young man and wish I had known better and done better. But I can honestly say that I heard nothing about it the entire time I was growing up. The wisdom about a father's blessing was already being ignored by Western society.

In a more general way, the giving and receiving of blessing impacts every people connection we have. Young men hunger for the blessing of a more mature man, and young women have the same yearning toward the womanly blessing. In every area of life, from family to work to sports to hobbies to church, the presence or absence of blessing plays a major role in our people connections. It can make or break them. If so, we had better know what God's word says about it.

1. THE RELEASE OF DIVINE FAVOR

One meaning of the word "blessing" is merely a verbal nicety. We say nice things to each other to encourage each other, and so we should. The world is a hard place, and Christians ought to be the most gracious people on earth. Why not? Even if you whack off our heads we're still going to heaven. We can afford to be nice.

But there is a deeper meaning. The words we say to one another carry the weight of our intentions. A spoken blessing expresses our union with a person, specifically that they would experience the good things we are speaking. Even at the merely human level this has a powerful impact. Our loved ones take the temperature of their people connection with us by checking for the blessing, among other things. If ringing in their ears are words of kindness and encouragement our people connections will be sturdy and full of hope. If they remember harsh words or even a blank where there should be support, they know the people connection is growing cold and weak. Believers in Christ should be people with good personal intentions toward others and words to match.

But the third definition of the word "blessing" from the American Heritage Dictionary reveals the true power of the blessing: "To invoke divine favor upon." When a follower of Christ blesses it is not merely a wish, it actually releases heavenly favor. Freedom and grace follow the blessings of Jesus' followers. He said this to his first disciples: "I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; and whatever you bind on earth shall have been bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall have been loosed in heaven" (Matthew 16:19).

It would be hard to find the limits of this promise! They are as wide as earth and as high as heaven! We change reality by the giving and receiving of blessings because God has so structured our discipleship. He has placed heavenly power upon our lips. Followers of Jesus ought to be walking, talking fountains of blessing. This world is a messed up place in desperate need of the grace of God, and he has given us the tool of blessing to inject that grace where it needs to go.

2. BLESSING AN ACT OF SPIRITUAL WARFARE

Jesus made it clear that no more radical act of spiritual warfare can be made than to bless when we are under the heaviest fire from a world antagonistic to God. Luke records: "But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. Whoever hits you on the cheek, offer him the other also; and whoever takes away your coat, do not withhold your shirt from him either. Give to everyone who asks of you, and whoever takes away what is yours, do not demand it back. Treat others the same way you want them to treat you" (Luke 6:27-31).

Why should we be fountains of blessing for others? Because that is what God is like: "If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. If you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. If you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners in order to receive back the same amount. But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful" (Luke 6:32-36).

God is in the business of releasing divine favor through us not only to those who love us but to everyone, even to those who hate us. You and I already know that we do not have this kind of behavior in our hearts. It's his power, his blessing, his grace--all of it. Our job is to be his instruments to release it on the earth in the lives of the people we meet, no matter what they think of us.

3. THE WITHHOLDING OF BLESSING SADDENS AND EVEN CRIPPLES

Even in the merely human sphere the withholding of blessing saddens and even cripples people emotionally. Perhaps you have seen or experienced such debilitating attitudes. Maybe you have even done one of the following: "I withhold my blessing when I do not approve of what you are doing." Obviously, if we are to release divine favor even upon those who hate us we cannot fail to bless those who merely are doing what we do not approve.

How about: "I withhold my blessing to get you to do what I want you to do." This is a manipulative variation on the former. Then there is the organizational version: "I withhold my blessing as long as our organization is not performing up to my standards." This last one, as ludicrous as it sounds, has been immortalized on a wall poster you may have seen in some places of work: "The beatings will continue until morale improves." This is silly! Performance goes up with morale, and morale goes up with blessing.

Parents can make emotional cripples of their children by withholding the blessing. Pastors can do the same to their churches, bosses to their employees, commanders to their soldiers, teachers to their students, and all similar situations. The question is: Do you want to be a person who releases divine favor upon people by blessing them, or do you want to sadden and cripple them by withholding it? This question is entirely in the realm of choice.

Author Frederick Beuchner was ten years old when his father committed suicide. He and his brother were supposed to be going to a football game but instead his father went into the garage with the door down, started the car, and sat there until he was dead. He later wrote this: "A child takes life as it comes because he has no other way of taking it. The world had come to an end that Saturday morning, but each time we had moved to another place, I had seen a world come to an end, and there had always been another world to replace it. When somebody you love dies, Mark Twain said, it is like when your house burns down; it isn't for years that you realize the full extent of your loss. For me it was longer than most, if indeed I have realized it fully even yet, and in the meantime the loss came to get buried so deep in me that after a time I scarcely ever took it out to look at it at all, let alone speak of it" (The Sacred Journey).

Few things scar a loved one worse than suicide. But intrinsic to that loss was the deliberate, selfish withholding of a father's blessing. He was supposed to be there to give the blessing, and instead he was absent. Absentee parents rob their children of the blessing they are supposed to be present to give. Or a parent may be present but simply withhold the blessing.

You may be surprised to know that Paul the Apostle wrote entire chapters of the Bible over the situation in Corinth because the church was withholding their blessing from him. He planted the church and nurtured it over several years. While he was away on a missionary tour some men raised themselves up as apostles superior to Paul. It was a fleshly grab for power and the limelight by men who did no miracles and did not have an apostolic anointing, yet the Corinthians went for it. Paul wrote: "Make room for us in your hearts; we wronged no one, we corrupted no one, we took advantage of no one....Or did I commit a sin in humbling myself so that you might be exalted, because I preached the gospel of God to you without charge? I robbed other churches by taking wages from them to serve you; and when I was present with you and was in need, I was not a burden to anyone; for when the brethren came from Macedonia they fully supplied my need, and in everything I kept myself from being a burden to you, and will continue to do so....I have become foolish; you yourselves compelled me. Actually I should have been commended by you, for in no respect was I inferior to the most eminent apostles, even though I am a nobody" (2 Corinthians 7:2, 11:7-9, 12:11). If God bothered to include this instance of the withholding of blessing in the Holy Bible then we must conclude that it is a matter of the gravest importance. Are you withholding your blessing from someone.

4. HOW TO GET A BLESSING

Jesus gave his disciples not only the command to release divine favor by blessing people, he explained how to get a blessing: "Give, and it will be given to you. They will pour into your lap a good measure-- pressed down, shaken together, and running over. For by your standard of measure it will be measured to you in return" (Luke 6:38). If you want your life to be full of blessing be the kind of person who constantly gives a blessing to others.

This is not merely an echo of the worldly proverb: "What goes around comes around." That is a system based on implied and explicit obligation. But God is not obligated to bless anyone. Grace is utterly free, and God gives it because it is his nature. So when we bless others, we must do so expecting nothing back from them. But that does not mean that no blessing comes to us! We bless others because it springs from our new nature in Christ, and then we discover that God blesses us in a way that surpasses any earthly benefit.

5. THE IMPACT OF PEOPLE CONNECTIONS ON THE BLESSING

We have already seen that we can strengthen or weaken our people connections by giving or withholding a blessing, and that blessing is entirely in the realm of choice. But what about the other direction? Does the nature of a particular people connection influence the impact of a blessing? Yes it does! The more significant the people connection, the more impact even a simple blessing will have.

Let's start at the top. God is the most influential and important being in our lives, so it makes sense that his blessing means the most. God the Father blessed God the Son publicly several times during his earthly ministry. One instance was where Jesus took Peter, James, and John up on a mountain. There he began to shine with blinding light, and spoke with Moses and Elijah. "While he was still speaking, a bright cloud overshadowed them, and behold, a voice out of the cloud said, 'This is My beloved Son, with whom I am well-pleased; listen to Him!'" (Matthew 17:5).

Don't ever say: "I don't need to bless my wife or husband, my son or daughter, my parents, my brothers and sisters--they already know!" Jesus Christ already knew that he had the Father's blessing! It is not just about their knowledge of your kind intentions but a real release of divine favor upon them. And the significance of the people connection amplifies the blessing or the lack of it.

There is a television commercial where a man is reading a newspaper at the kitchen table. His wife walks in wearing a silk dress and says: "Honey, does this dress make me look fat?" Without taking his eyes off the paper he replies: "Oh, yes, sure. Of course." Perhaps his wife was fishing for a blessing, but even so his reply would have landed with a tremendously negative impact. He should have put the paper down, turned to her and said: "Sweetheart, you always look wonderful to me." And then he would not have to sleep on the couch that night!

If you are a spiritual leader and you are mentoring someone, your word of blessing will change their lives. Your lack of a blessing will impoverish them. The same can be said of every human relationship we have.

And imagine what it will feel like when, after a life of faith in Christ and service to him, we go through the door of death and on the other side he awaits us with the words: "'Well done, good and faithful [servant]. You were faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things; enter into the joy of your master'" (Matthew 25:23). There could be no greater satisfaction of soul.

In a small way we can give that satisfaction to others now, and it will change their reality. There is a time for constructive criticism, but no amount of correction can change a person who no longer has the will to live. God made us to live for his blessing, and we can be his instrument of life to others.

CONCLUSION

In Pride and Prejudice Elisabeth Bennet had a sister, Lydia, who never thought twice about her father's blessing in marriage. She ran away with the first foolish man to engage her affections. As far as we know, she never recognized the wrongfulness of her actions or what she forfeited as a result. There is no path to the blessing of God for those who have not repented of their sins and placed their faith in Jesus Christ. Your deepest need and deepest hunger can only be met by him. And no blessing on earth will matter in the end without his. Have you sought the blessing of your heavenly Father? This is where we all must start.

Once you are a child of God you gain the most amazing privilege of mediating God's blessing to other people. I can think of no more effective way to populate heaven than to lead people in with the sweetness of God's blessing. Be a blessing to others, tell them of God's blessing upon you through Christ, and then pop the question: "Do you want the blessing of God in your life?" Why not, for heaven's sake? [A&E/BBC prod., ch.18, 2:21:25ff]